Much has been written of late about the epidemic of opiate dependency, abuse and overdoses in the lay news media. Many groups are pushing for doctors to meet additional certification requirements for the right to prescribe these potentially dangerous medications. A $700 DEA license, renewed every three years, is apparently not enough these days. So what's an ER doctor to do? Should they keep patients happy? Should they keep patient's pain free? Should they order Dilaudid, Fentanyl, morphine, hydrcodone, Percocet, Oxycodone, Oxycontin and other associated highly controlled substances with reckless abandonment? Are there appropriate opiate administration policies readily available for ER doctors to do the right thing? Yes, there are. It doesn't involve taking additional unfunded classes to satisfy government agencies. It doesn't involve filling out pain scales and satisfaction surveys. No folks, it involved a little Facebook and personal attitude to get by a day in the life of an ER doctor. I found the best examples yet of how ER doctors should respond to requests for opiates in the ER. In addition, make sure to check my whole collection of original crude medical ecard humor.
Patient: are you going to write me a prescription for pain medication for my back Pain?
Happy: Tylenol is over the counter.
Patient: I need something stronger than that.
Happy: Take two of them.
This post is for entertainment purposes only and likely contains humor only understood by those in a healthcare profession. Read at your own risk.