Just Go To The ER? Why Do Doctors and Nurses Always Say That?

The path of least resistance is the path most taken.  That is what I have learned after a decade of hospitalist medicine.  If you're a busy outpatient internist or family medicine physician and you have a patient call your office with multiple complaints you will likely be told to go to the emergency room.  Do your symptoms sound life threatening?  Go to the ER.  Do your symptoms sound annoying?  Go to the ER.  Do your symptoms sound like they are going to take more than five minutes of your time?  Go to the ER.  Is the ER the right place for patients to be with 90% of their complaints?  Probably not.  Is the ER the right place to be for 90% of outpatient physicians trying to make it through their overcrowded schedule before making it to their kids soccer game?  Probably so.  Ever wonder why doctors and nurses seem to say just go to the ER? Isn't the answer obvious? If it's not, these doctor ecards helps explain why the reality of medicine in America today.

"One does not simply get beat up by sum dude while minding my own business."

One does not simply get beat up by sum dude while minding my own business meme ER humor photo.


"Go to the ER is just a polite way of saying I don't feel like dealing with your crap today."

Go to the ER is just a polite way of saying I don't feel like dealing with your crap today doctor ecard humor photo


"4 years of chronic nausea is not an indication to visit the ER at 2 am.  I'm an ER doctor.  As in emergency.  As in 4 years of anything makes me nauseated."

4 years of chronic nausea ER ecard


"I'm going to treat your vaginal bleeding with no evidence of vaginal bleeding by discharging you to Walmart with a prescription to take one generic pregnancy test prn.  #11 refills."

I'm going to treat your vaginal bleeding with no evidence of vaginal bleeding by discharging you to Walmart with a prescription to take one pregnancy test prn.  Number 11 refills doctor ecard humor photo.


"Admit for pain control patients usually go home the next day with orders to go to the ER if having pain.  Just so you know."

Admit for pain control patients usually go home the next day with orders to go to the ER if having pain.  Just so you know doctor ecard humor photo.


"My doctor says I'm having a pannus attack and that I should go straight to the ER to get my medications refilled."

My doctor says I'm having a pannus attack and that I should go straight to the ER to get my medications refilled ecard humor photo


"Instead of going to the ER, I think we'll just take care of the UTI, weakness and confusion at the nursing home.  --- said no nursing home ever."

Instead of going to the ER, I think we'll just take care of the UTI, weakness and confusion at the nursing home said no nursing home ever ecard humor photo.


I am a Nocturnal Nonurgentologist.  Otherwise known as the night shift ER doc."

Nocturnal Nonurgentologist night shift ER doctor ecard humor photo


"Nothing says crappy day in the ER better than running out of extra long speculums."

Nothing says crappy day in the ER better than running out of extra long speculums doctor ecard humor photo


"Emergency Medicine.  Where all the doctors are named What The F**k Are You Calling Me For."

Emergency Medicine where all the doctors are named What The F**k Are You Calling Me For ecard humor photo.


"Emergency Medicine:  H&P noncontributory."

Emergency Medicine:  H and P noncontributory doctor ecard humor photo.


"I think we should relabel our ER room numbers to things like 'drug seeker' or 'drunk ass' or 'crazy lady'.  I mean seriously, that tells me a lot more than 'I need help in room 12.'"

I think we should relabel our Er room numbers to things like


"A heartfelt thank you to the hospital cleaning crew for their hard work and dedication.  Except when the floor nurse delays my ER transfer because of your lazy ass."

A heartfelt thank you to the hospital cleaning crew for their hard work and dedication.  Except when the floor nurse delays my ER transfer because of your lazy ass nurse ecard humor photo.


"My ER is filled to the brim with acute exacerbation of chronic nonsense."

My ER is filled to the brim with acute exacerbation of chronic nonsense nurse ecard humor photo.


"If you show up to my ER wearing pajams, I'm going to assume you have previously been highlighted on the People of Walmart homepage."

If you show up to my ER wearing pajamas, I'm going to assume you have previously been highlighted on the People of Walmart homepage nurse ecard humor photo.


"Today, I am thankful for every patient that does not wear their pajamas to the ER."

Today, I am thankful for every patient that does not wear their pajamas to the ER nurse ecard humor photo.


Facebook education:
Communication attempt between a hospitalist and an outpatient MD: Thank you for calling Dr XXXXX. If you have an emergency, please hang up and dial 911. If you need anything else between Friday at 5 pm and Monday at 8 am please contact your nearest emergency room for further assistance. Thank you. 
Someone found my blog by using the string of words:  "I have herpes, should I go to the ER?".  Yes. Go to the ER. They'll bump you to the front of the line.
This post is for entertainment purposes only and likely contains humor only understood by those in a healthcare profession. Read at your own risk.



Print Friendly and PDF