Ever wonder what doctors and nurses are thankful for? Is it their health? Is it their family? Is it that their patients get better and go home to be with their loved ones. Maybe. I'm sure some doctors and nurses are thankful for that. But ask any doctor or nurse what they are really thankful for and they will tell you Ativan and Haldol. That's right. Doctors and nurses are thankful for Ativan and Haldol, as explained in these ecards below. The Happy Hospitalist has put together the largest collection of sedation humor anywhere in the Universe. These cards may seem warped to the average observe and they are correct. But they are hilarious to doctors and nurses who live on the sedation train day in and day out. Life is about perspective. Unless of course your pumped full of Ativan and Haldol. Then life is about taking a long nap. Until the next shift arrives. The Happy Hospitalist has hundreds of funny and original medical humor cards that can be found on Pinterest, Facebook and Twitter. If you'd like to purchase some of these witty saying on over 50 quality products, you can find all the available options at The Medical Humor Store. Check back often as new products arrive daily. Without further delay, here is the collection of sedation humor you've been waiting for!
"Today we are thankful for Ativan. Oh yeah. And Haldol too."
"Today we are thankful for Ativan. Oh yeah. And Haldol too."
"I love giving you Ativan more than you love taking it. Just so you know."
"When the order says to give the patient Haldol prn for agitation, I usually take that to mean prn for MY agitation. Just so you know."
"Ativan. Because I can."
"Mama always said I should respond to hate with kindness. My nursing instructor, on the other hand, says 2 mg of Ativan works way better."
"God says to be generous. That's why I gave 10 mg of Haldol, instead of 5 to the woman with the generous amount of attitude."
"Sunday is my day of rest. That means ALL my patients get Geodon as an expression of my religious rights."
"I am a nurse at a hospital and proud of it! And by hospital I mean Hell in a Haldol basket!"
"I learned more in one week as a nurse than 4 years of nursing school. For example, did you know Ativan works way better than that one nursing lecture on blah, blah, blah?"
"Sunday is my day of rest. And by rest, I mean you can be rest assured I'll be helping you rest."
"Forget steroids. We give stress dose prn Ativan in my ICU. And by prn I mean as needed for RN stress."
"At MYhospital, I use an Ativan stress test protocol to stabilizez all my patients with call light abuse exacerbations."
"When I see orders to titrate sedation to comfort, I'm certain they mean MY comfort. Just so you know."
"Forget about all that lame nonsense nursing garbage we learned in school. We've got Versed for anything that moves!"
"I tell all my difficult patients they are a perfect 10. (a perfect candidate for 10 mg of Haldol)."
"I think everyone should believe in a cause. I choose Ativan. Cause it makes you sleep."
"Before going mainstream, Thanksgiving was actually a little known day of celebration among nurses called Thanks For Giving Ativan Day. Just so you know."
"For your Thanksgiving holiday meal, I anticipate serving you an extra large helping of Haldol with a side order of Ativan. Just so you know."
"Instead of Dilaudid, consider connecting with your patients today using AT&T. Ativan, Tylenol & Toradol."
"Julius Caesar, RN: I came. I saw. I gave Ativan."
"All I want for Christmas is my... two mg of Ativan to kick in faster!" Make sure to also check out the complete collection of Christmas humor.
"This year I'm giving all my patients a Christmas present. And by present, I mean I'm going to present them with 10 mg of Haldol."
"Oh, jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way... to the med station to get 10 mg of Haldol".
"Silent night, holy night! All is calm... after giving 10 mg of Haldol."
"Hark, the herald angels sing, 'Glory to the... shelves filled with Ativan and Haldol.'"
"I got Christmas presents for all my patients this year. Hal dolls for the women and little toy ati vans for the men."
"For my New Year's resolution, I decided to start with 1 mg of Ativan instead of 2." Make sure to checkout the complete collection of funny New Year's Eve resolutions!
"For my New Year's resolution, I started running... to get your Haldol."
"For my New Year's resolution, I decided to be more patient... while the Ativan kicks in."
"For my New Year's resolution, I'm going to be more thankful for solutions of propofol."
"For my New Year's resolution, I'm going to judge less and actually measure your Haldol."
"Buddha, RN. Peace comes from within Haldol. Do no seek it without it." See the rest of the collection of popular quotes by famous people, if they were a doctor or nurse instead!
Abraham Lincoln, RN - "Ativan works better than words."
Theodore Roosevelt, RN - "Speak softly and carry a big vial of Ativan."
Soctrates, RN - "The only true wisdom is in knowing you know how to dose Haldol."
Sir Isaac Newton, RN - "To every action there is always opposed an equal reaction to give Ativan."
United Negro Nursing College Fund Slogan - "A vial of Ativan is a terrible thing to waste."
"I don't always order Ativan. But when I do, I order a lot."
"Less is more. Except for Ativan or Haldol. Then, more is more.
"Nursing is all about give and take. I give you Ativan and you take your time waking up. On the next shift." Make sure to also check out the rest of The Happy Hospitalist's original collection on give and take ecard humor.
"My floor has the best anxiety to Ativan time in the country. Just so you know."
"Nursing is all about give and take. That's why I give you 2 mg of Ativan while I take 2 shots of Espresso."
"Nursing is all about give and take. I give you 10 mg of Haldol so I can take a 10 minute break."
"Nurses are a generous people (with their Ativan)."
This post is for entertainment purposes only and likely contains humor only understood by those in a healthcare profession. Read at your own risk.